Alenka

lenky_doodle @ 2009-12-01T01:21:00

2009-12-01T07:21:57Z

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

Hi LJ! I haven't seen you for a very long time, but I'm sittin' in Madeleine's room procrastinatin' hardcore and ditchin' the g's that go at the ends of words, so I thought I'd update LJ. So... updates... of things... in my life...

I have to write this 6 page paper for my American Lit class and I really don't wanna do it, because I'm sick of early American literature. However, I'm focusing on Gothic elements of two stories for the paper, and I love all things Gothic. (Modern horror owes many of its tropes to early Gothic literature and I love modern horror as well, so it's only appropriate.) Not wanting to write a paper but liking the topic is quite the conundrum, especially when you just want it to be winter breeeeeeeeeak. (Apparently Knox is already on break. Poo!)

Omg. I'm listening to Numa Numa right now. I am so happy.

I don't know what else to tell you, LJ. If I was younger and emo I would have a lot more to say.

Watchmen Review

2009-03-09T06:10:51Z

I promised to review Watchmen and was then sidetracked by an incredibly busy weekend, but now I have to make a boring paper fill out four pages so I'm going to write my review. Because I plan not to even try avoiding major plot points, I'll cut to my spoiler-filled response. I doubt that anyone who reads this will not know the plot points, but it's nice to be on the safe side.

First off, I shall link you to a Watchmen review from CNN that I think is pretty accurate:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/05/review.watchmen/index.html

I've had the pleasure leaving movies that were remakes of movies or pre-existing stories while listening to my friends complain that they were not true to the original far too many times not to empathize with Tom Charity's review. Remakes of stories provide the audience with the director/writer's interpretation. The beauty of a re-make is that the end result is a perspective that might not match your own, and will make you think again about the implications of aspects from the original work. (This is why when people complain about Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary's Beowulf I get annoyed. Yes, it's an action movie meant to attract a certain audience. However, it's also a really interesting interpretation of the relationship between Beowulf and Grendel that I enjoyed seeing, as well as an exploration of the characters of Beowulf and Hrothgar. Please stop complaining about how the story isn't the same, and appreciate that people have different points of view and like to express them. Also please note that I restrained from putting the word "fucking" into my previous sentence.) Thus, if Snyder had changed the story around a little more, I really wouldn't have been bothered. I would have been intrigued, and I would've had a fun time thinking about why Snyder had chosen to make those changes. I did get to have some fun thinking about why Snyder chose to take out the squid monster from the ending and replace it with a cool plot against Dr. Manhattan, but Veidt's intentions were the same. The movie really was just Snyder taking a big chunk of the graphic novel and sticking it onto a movie screen, and if you find that difficult to believe open the graphic novel and reread the first few pages in which The Comedian is killed. The opening of the movie and the novel are partically identical. I did enjoy the movie, but I wanted more from it than what I got. The parts of the graphic novel that were left out are pretty much the parts that are impossible to accomplish with the film medium, like the comic-book-within-a-comic-book, or were just cut for the sake of time, like Rorshach's long and intense mind-fucking of the prison psychiatrist.

OK, I have to conclude because I need to finish my lame-ass paper, so overall I did enjoy the movie and would like to see it again, but I would've liked it more if Synder had just put his head on the chopping-block and changed some stuff based on his own opinions and interpretations. It's still a movie worth seeing, especially because the opening credits are beautifully crafted just fucking amazing.

MY MIND IS MOVING AT LIGHTSPEED. AAAAAH!

2009-03-05T18:48:53Z

The original point of this post was to let everyone know that I GOT A FREE TICKET TO SEE WATCHMEN AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT AND I'M TOTALLY GOING TO GIVE MY REVIEW OF IT AFTERWARDS BECAUSE I'M SOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!

However, I've recently been overhauling my future at this college and now I'm reeeeally torn. I'll explain more about that later because I have to go to work, but getting more opinions would be nice. Laaaater!

OK, work is over. (We painted a tablecloth so that it became a blue ocean, and my hands were also a blue ocean by the end of it.) The following is a review of the possible things I could be studying in the future:

English: I'm like 99% sure I'm going to major in English, and the undecided 1% is only missing from the full percentage because I have committment issues.
Linguistics: The linguistics concentration includes classes that I really really would like to take, including Psych of Language and an Anthropology class called Language, Culture and Society. The only part of the linguistics concentration that just sounds daunting rather than fun is the Senior Research project, but I could always chicken out last minute and just have taken really awesome classes.
Greek: I looked through the Greek and Latin classes and there are some really cool Greek classes I'd like to take, including a 300 drama course. I had a meeting with my Ancient Greek Literature professor yesterday (By the way, we just finished reading Agamemnon and are starting Oedipus) and he made Greek sound amazing. There are Plato and Homer classes too, and it's a neat language.
Japanese: There are about six courses in the Japanese language offered, plus a film course AND an individual study course which for me means I could just sit around reading mythology in the original language for hours a day. That would be incredibly amazing.
Russian: I was talking to Zac, a third year who lives on my floor and is currently doing the linguistics concentration, and he said that the Russian department here is really good, so I checked it out. There are five language courses and a plenitude of literature courses that really fun. Plus, unbeknownst to Zac, I love Russian fairy tales. The Russian courses I looked at that were really cool are taught in English. I'm not taking Russian. >>;;

The basic summary of this is that I can't decide what I want to do. I'm meeting my adviser on Tuesday next week to fill in her in on all of this, and I feel like I could make an English major and the linguistics concentration work but I'll be limited in which language I can take. If you have any advice, I'm very very open to it.

An epiphany!

2008-09-30T18:34:07Z

I have just realized something incredible.

Yesterday I discovered that I had not worked for nearly a week, mostly because I thought that the plaster bats had to dry out but in fact there was already clay in them that needed to dry out, and so I went to work. I had nothing to do other than pound clay, which requires me to sit on my knees for long periods of him and hammer the shit out of dry pieces of White Stoneware. Believe it or not, this puts a fairly large strain on your butt muscles. So, once again, my butt muscles are sore today. However, because of this I've had an epiphany!

I'm going to have a pretty tight butt by the end of the semester. (Probably.)

This is kind of a weird thing to update LJ with especially since my mother reads this blog, but hey, I tell her when I've been hanging out with drunk people. I just thought it was something worth an update, since I don't post that often. =D

Copy pasted from a comment to Keswindhover, because I'm lazy: "I just thought I'd let you know that while I was typing this comment I was interrupted by three upperclassmen, two of whom live on my floor. Each of them was sporting a new pair of cheesy overalls, and wearing nothing else underneath. It was funny and disturbing at the same time. My roommate is taking a nap and missed it, but I have a picture! >=D"

It's a little blurry, but the one on the far left is my SA. "SA" stands for "Student Adviser", but Johnny's really lazy and doesn't do much advising.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-09-06T17:13:00

2008-09-06T22:23:46Z

I should really stop taking breaks from homework as I still have 99 pages about Spanish colonization of Mexico to read as well as the rest of this introduction to "The Yellow Wallpaper" and a four year plan to work on, but I'm way too amused by something in the introduction to not rant about it a little.

Charlotte Perkins Gilman, the author of "The Yellow Wallpaper", was, according to this introduction, an advocate of independence for women as well as acknowledgment of woman's contribution to society. She was deeply annoyed by how women were treated as fragile creatures who could be cured simply by lots of rest and good air, and was convinced that the treatments for "hysteria" were actually detrimental to the patients receiving them. (Depending on the patient this could be true, as it was something Gilman herself experience and based "The Yellow Wallpaper" on.)

Here's where it gets funny.

The idea of the "New Woman" that arose in the 1880s is a concept which we've been exploring while reading Dracula in my Literary Analysis class. It introduced a concept of sexual freedom that Gilman considered perverse. Doesn't it seem odd that a woman who would advocate every other aspect of the "New Woman", such as the independence, having careers, and suffrage would not advocate sexual freedom as well?

Ready for it?

Gilman thought that women would, once achieving this sexual freedom, compete for the richest men and ignore those with better genes, thus endangering human progress.

Human progress. That's not my phrase, but one that belongs to the Bedford introduction and possibly to Gilman herself. I just find that hilarious. Please tell me that I'm not alone. >>;;

I JUST GOT A JOB.

2008-08-27T21:30:28Z

    I was going to make a post about my schedule and books and all that wonderful stuff, but something kind of amazing just happened so I'll do that first!

    I took my cello to Bucksbaum, the fine arts center, earlier today and discovered that I was too early to get a storage locker for my cello. I wandered off with Rita to buy books (By the way, I had three classes to buy books four and had to buy fourteen books, which cost a total of $350.50.) and returned at 3:30 to get my cello out of the office where I had been allowed to leave it. In the office were two people: the secretary who worked there and a ceramics teacher. We chatted about how my case is nearly as tall as I am and about lessons, and I mentioned that I wasn't taking cello lessons this semester because I wanted to see if I could pay for them myself. Here comes the fun part! =D The ceramics teacher did a double take and said, "You need work study? I need people for work study!"
    This is going to be the sweetest job I will ever do. I think. Basically, I use a hammer to bang up clods of clay into tiny little pieces, soak them in water until something weird happens, and cover them in plastic. After a while the clay will reform and be able to use again. I'm recycling clay!

Cultural Encounters in History, which meets MWF from 8-8:50 AM. (I didn't want a class this early but it was unavoidable. T_T)
Intro to Psychology, which meets MWF from 10-10:50 AM. There is also a lab that meets Thursday from 1:15-4:05 PM.
Literary Analysis, which meets MWF from 3:15-4:05 PM.
Ghost Stories (my tutorial, which is like a freshman seminar) which meets T TH from 8-9:50 AM. (The times for all tutorials are the same, so it's another early morning. T_T x2)
Grinnell Orchestra, which meets MW from 4:15-6 PM, with sectionals from 7-8:30.

Looking at it makes it feel like a lot, but if it's too much I could drop orchestra. (I don't think I'll want to, though.) I was hoping to have time for at least one activity, but I'm not sure. I get to pick my work hours for the clay recycling job, so it could be possible. You don't have to go to every single meeting for activities too, and I might be able to work more on weekends and less during the week. Plus, I'm gonna have boring Tuesdays.

I think I was going to write more but it's 4:30 and I need to get organized for classes. I want to walk around and find all my classrooms, and there's a Medallion Ceremony tonight that's required. (I'm not sure what the Medallions are for, so don't ask.)

OH YEAH, I HAVE CLASSES ON LABOR DAY.

NOOOOOOOOOO!

2008-07-29T19:27:50Z

SLEIGH RIDE IS STUCK IN MY HEAD! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I PLAYED IT FOR THE LAST TIME EVER AT THE CHRISTMAS... HOLIDAY ORCHESTRA CONCERT THIS YEAR, AND NOW IT SHOULD BE GONE FOREVER. SOMEONE KILL IT, PLEASE...

lenky_doodle @ 2008-07-22T18:15:00

2008-07-22T23:15:56Z

I have a friend who goes by Floofy. She's younger than me, and she collects "Mama"s. I'm one of her Mamas. Today, we had a mother-daughter discussion...

Alenka says:
Floofy... I know you're sort of ADD, but when you drive be really focused
Alenka says:
Driving can be dangerous if you're not careful
Alenka says:
Hello?
Alenka says:
Was I too serious?
Floofy says:
ohhh
Floofy says:
sorry
Floofy says:
my solar-powered bobble-head from korea/china was nodding
Floofy says:
:]
Floofy says:
IT'S AMAZING
Alenka says:
...
Alenka says:
xD

Adorable, isn't she? It may appear that she doesn't take after me, but I can assure you that she does.

Floofy says:
ahahaha then you should see me in real life
Floofy says:
going through a haunted house, i'll smile and greet the mosnters that are suppose to scare me
Floofy says:
^___^ with a big smile and high five them.
Floofy says:
i kicked opena door and hit one...
Floofy says:
but it was an accident!
Alenka says:
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
Alenka says:
I WANT TO GO TO ONE WITH YOU, I'D DO THE SAME THINGS!!
Floofy says:
^____^
Floofy says:
WE SHOULD
Floofy says:
Knott's scary farm!!!
Floofy says:
i wanna hug one

lenky_doodle @ 2008-07-21T16:31:00

2008-07-21T22:12:36Z

Stole this from Kay. It'll kill some time.
Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time: 4:35 PM
Name: Alenka
Sisters: 1, Morgan, age 20.
Brothers: Iwish. -coughed-
Shoe size: 6 in American sizes. I have small feet.
Height: 5'. >>;;

Where do you live: Iowa.
Favourite drinks: Coffee and tea. Caffeine! =D
Favourite breakfast: Mom's pancakes
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yes, several times.
Swam in the ocean: Um, sort of, in Florida. I don't like swimming very much.
Fallen asleep at school: Yes! I always used to fall asleep in Spanish, I don't know why.
Broken someone's heart: Not that I know of.
Fell off your chair: Yes. ><
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nopers.
Saved e-mails: Yeah.

What is your room like: Um, it has three cream-colored walls and one red wall. I like putting cards I get from people or drawings and personal things on the walls, so there's lots of stuff like that. My dresser is huge, too, and it has a big mirror.
What's right beside you: On my right there's a little side table-thing with a bunch of papers from Grinnell and my cell phone. Nothing on my left. I'm in the living room right now.
What is the last thing you ate: Uh... an after dinner mint? We're about to eat dinner, and it's chicken stir fry. Yuuum.

Ever had chicken pox: Yes, and I gave them to my sister when I had them. >>;;
Sore throat: I think everyone has. O_o
Stitches: No, but Morgan got stitches in the back of her head a long time ago.
Broken nose: No, and I don't know anyone who has.

Do you believe in love at first sight: Only in books and stories, not in real life.
Like picnics: Picnics are fun! I go on them with Beth, Jill and Megan.
Who was/were the last person/people you danced with: Uh, I think I danced with Josh at Jill's house a long time ago. I was "high" because I'd just gotten back from a speech contest, I actually don't dance often.
Last made you smile: My dad trying to figure out what was missing from the back yard. Mom and I dumped the old grill at the trash heap, and it took a lot of hints from me for him to figure it out.
You last yelled at: ...Uh... myself in my head, probably.

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: I'm assuming you mean like as in have a crush on, so no.
Kiss anyone: No.
Get sick: Nope.
Talk to an ex: Don't have any exes to talk to.
Miss someone: ...T________T OTOUTO...
Eat: Yes, and I will be eating dinner soon.

Best feeling in the world: I don't know.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: No. R2D2 does, though.
What's under your bed: A spare mattress.
Who do you really hate: Mr. Lynch and Mr. Wojtowicz.
What time is it now? 4:44 PM.

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: No.
Do you have any siblings: You already asked that. O-o
Do you want children: No.
Do you smile often: I think so.
Do you like your hand-writing: It's all right.
Are your toe nails painted: No, but Jill's are still green from prom.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: You mean in a dirty sense, but I have to point out that my parents have a sleep number bed. I want to steal it. >>
What color shirt are you wearing now: Orange. It's one of the orchestra shirts.
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: Uh... I think was watching Superbad with Beth and Jill.
I can't wait till: Margarita Monday on SYNJ gets really crazy.
Are you a friendly person: I think so...?
Do you have any pets: No, but I will have a kitty some day!
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: In Neverland. Seriously, there isn't anyone.
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: Uh... I think that was Jill, so yes! She's a very important person for me.
Do you sleep with the TV on?: No.
What are you doing right now?: Thinking about eating dinner... in fact, I shall go get some. O_O My cell phone made a noise!
Have you ever crawled through a window?: Yeah, at Grinnell. There are balcony things you can get to by climbing through windows.
Can you handle the truth?: I think so. I'd rather hear the truth than a lie that will make me feel better.
Are you too forgiving?: I don't think so... maybe a little.
Are you closer to your mother or father?: Neither?
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: No idea... it's been a while. Maybe my mom.
How many people can you say you've really loved?: Do you mean like... romantically? 'Cause that's no one, but I love a lot of people.
Do you eat healthy?: Lol, yes, when eating healthy also means eating food I like.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: Don't have an ex.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Possibly, not that I remember.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: I tend to just become a loner and isolate myself, actually. I usually want to call Anna, but don't...
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Depends, I guess. Quiet?
Are you confident?: Not really.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. Going to school
2. Tae Kwon Do
3. I think I was still in dance at that point
4. ...Uh... no idea what else to put.
5.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Call Nikki again, and hopefully someone will pick up
2. Hopefully go to Nikki's softball game
3. Party on SYNJ
4. Take a shower
5. Maybe finish the SYNJ adventure. >>;;

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Turkey pepperoni
2. Cereal at random times during the day
3. Ice cream =D
4. That chaos stuff I found at Hy Vee
5. Chocolate.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Help people who got hit by the flood rebuild their houses
2. Start visiting Chaos and all the SYNJ people
3. Pay my college tuition.
4. Give some money to my parents under the condition that they use it to adopt SF.
5. Buy lots of manga and comic books.

5 of my bad habits:
1. Chewing on my lips
2. Sleeping in (I'm right there with you, Kay. >>;;)
3. Going crazy over small typos
4. Teasing Beth. Eh heh.
5. Talking too much

5 places I have lived in:
1. An apartment when I was like... a newborn
2. Our current house
3. I -will- be living in a dorm soon.
4.
5.

5 jobs I've had:
1. Babysitting
2. Taught TKD, but didn't get paid
3. Little side things for TKD tournaments and stuff
4. Played cello in a quartet for a wedding
5.

5 people I tag:
1. No one, only do this if you feel like it.
2.
3.
4.
5.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-07-16T15:03:00

2008-07-16T20:10:22Z

I spent the night at Jill's last night, and when I came home today I found something unexpected. The tree in our backyard had been severely trimmed! It scared the crap out of me, because the back yard feels soooooo different now. Apparently I missed a wood chipper and a chainsaw, which is somewhat depressing.

This is an overall look at what the tree looks like now.

Sawdust, and an old grill! Proof that I missed some exciting stuff. And now, a fun comparison:

These pictures were taken during the ice storm. When I took the second photo I was standing in our back yard, looking at the tree branches that the ice had dragged down.

I took this picture standing in roughly the same spot that I stood in to take the second ice picture. Quite a difference, no?

Itachi's unexpressed thoughts

2008-07-03T00:24:10Z

On the way home from Coral Ridge today, Jill said something about Itachi that got me thinking. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I kept thinking and thinking about what his real thoughts and feelings were. It's a difficult thing to understand, because Itachi spent his entire life wrapping the people around him in illusions about where his loyalties lay and about his own ambitions in order to achieve his goals, whatever they were. Also, Madara is incredibly untrustworthy, and Sasuke has a brain that works, as has been demonstrated at different times throughout the show. There are further illusions that Itachi left behind has well as illusions worked by Sasuke and Madara, and I have some fun ideas about that! But, I don't want to get into my complicated theories about how I think Naruto will work out. Also, I have a weird opinion of Sasuke that I think would surprise people... so I don't want to get into it right. ^^;; If you're really curious, though, I will.

Anyway, the following is a drabble from the point of view of Itachi, as he plunges into whatever afterlife awaits murdered Naruto characters. These are what I believe his final thoughts would have been. The bolded sentence and the quote are the main ideas about Itachi that I had in mind when I wrote the drabble. (The bolded sentence can be ignored, if you want. It doesn't really matter. xD) I also had Itachi's tearful smile and final words up on onemanga when I wrote. As you read, try to think of Itachi sitting calmly and explaining this in his distinct, monotonous tone of voice.

I must become certain, or I will be unable to protect what matters to me.

“Everyone lives bound by their own knowledge and awareness. That’s called reality. But knowledge and awareness are vague, perhaps better called illusions. Everyone lives within their own subjective interpretation, don’t you think? How far can you see…”

This is my last bastion. I have walked beyond the reach of my elders and enemies and fought my final battle, but I have entrusted the last of my journey to you. I carried you many times, so I hope you won’t mind carrying me just this once. Through your eyes, I will see either the accomplishment of my goal or the deterioration of everything I love. But, no matter how it ends, we will see it through together.

There are many things I would like to tell you that I will never say. I want you to understand that when faced with a goal one is determined to reach, a person becomes capable of horrible things. With that goal as an excuse, what is “horrible” simply becomes “necessary”. Murder, the destruction of families, lives, and the innocence of many are among the numerous sins I have committed. But, this is not a place where I cannot lie. I do not regret my actions. I disliked many of them, but I will never regret the blood soiling my hands. I have done everything possible to protect what matters to me, and that is all that matters. It is possible that you will hate me for my sins, and you may be a better person for doing so. I simply want you to know that I died without regret.

Do not pity me. While this is a request I would like to have personally asked of you and cannot, it is still one that I am adamant about. I chose the path I wished to follow, shouldered the burdens that were necessary, and forged ahead as I deemed fit. While I may have lived a life that you would define as “tragic”, to me I used my life well. Pitying me when I am content with what I have done, even if I deserve to suffer for much of it, is inappropriate and will go unappreciated.

Sasuke, the final illusion I will leave for you to unravel. Whether you do so on your own or with the help I’ve provided, I have faith that you will discover the right path. Don’t be ashamed of stumbling on your way forward. Perhaps some day you will understand, and even forgive me. I have left everything to you.

OMFG PORN

2008-06-28T18:46:33Z

Haha, did I catch your attention?

This explanation is mostly for the benefit of some SYNJ people, so that I can just link them to my LJ to explain what happened. But... for the benefit of those who do read this, I'll post the link to the picture too!

I found out that EN is a Kakashi fan because she's always using Kakashi wallpapers when I check the "DESKTOPS" topic on the forum. So, I decided to perform a little test! A year ago at Anime Iowa I bought a Kakashi bookmark for a dollar. It was created by these amazing artists who drew Naruto men in their underwear, and then made bookmarks and stickers for giddy fangirls. (Everyone at AI is a giddy fangirl. It's a perfect example of mob mentality.) I took a picture of my bookmark, and posted it for EN to see. Her reaction:

" O.O

My mom turned and saw that...and just yelled at me for looking at porn. XD

It's an awesome bookmark though."

I told her to blame me, because I took the picture. But it's really not porn! Take a look:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/LadyKaruku/Photographs/ForEN.jpg

The text at the bottom that's not in the picture is, "Warning: extreme hotness may cause severe blood loss."

Heh heh, the friends page of a friend of mine: http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/5121/lolwtfsd2.png

lenky_doodle @ 2008-06-20T22:35:00

2008-06-21T03:37:12Z

I sort of got put in my place today. xD

First off, we're getting fifty dollars for the wedding after all. Ms. Freeman gave us all thank-you cards and fifty dollar checks. I feel really stupid for not realizing that we wouldn't just be expected to do this for free.

The wedding itself is going be a little scary because none of us are entirely sure how it's going to work, but there will be people there to cue us so I think it'll work out. I start the bride's processional, and that's the song that's in 9/8 time, so that'll be a little scary. But, the only song we'll probably get all the way through will be Hornpipe, and we've decided to just repeat the first page until we know it's time to stop. Hopefully we always stop on time.

Babysitting was really interesting. The kids' mom, Joanna, said that since they didn't know me the kids would probably behave. But, they didn't at all. I got them into the tub really late and to bed really late, and they didn't listen to me at all. I probably wasn't firm enough with them, so next time I'll have to be really strict about what time they take their bath and everything.

I'm really really tired.

I was attacked!

2008-06-19T21:32:11Z

Sort of, it's not that bad.

Y'see, my task today was to sweep up the annoying tree seeds that try to plant themselves in the yard. I was out in the front yard sweeping/raking them up earlier, and I had brought the yardy cart (The yardy cart is a giant blue or green recycling bin that the city hands out to encourage recycling. The green one is for yard waste, and blue ones are for plastic/paper.) around so that I could dump the tree seeds in it. I had just swept a big pile up next to the cart when BAM, a swarm of gnats starts attacking me! I sprayed bug spray on me, at them, and I even got pissed and swung the broom at them, but they wouldn't leave me alone! I left the bastards to swarm around outside, and came inside where I could safely complain to Mom.

So ta-da, that's how I got attacked. I'll brave the outdoors again soon, because I have to finish this so I can practice the wedding music.

I hate gnats. >>

An update:

I got the tree seeds! Well, as many as possible, since they're EVERYWHERE.

Do you ever get this weird feeling in your stomach because you really don't wanna do something? That's how I feel about the wedding rehearsal and babysitting tomorrow...

I just practiced, and I think I understand that feeling from earlier. I'm really not sure if I can do this. The necessary music is OK, including the piece that's in 9/8 time, but there's some stuff from the packet that I can't play well. There's one song that I can't play at all. The email made it sound like we wouldn't need to play all those songs, though.

I don't know, I'll find out tomorrow. What bothers me most is that there's a song in the packet that I really like, and I can't play it at the right speed.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-06-18T21:14:00

2008-06-19T02:14:33Z

Like Death the Kid is in my icon, I'm pretty damn annoyed right now. ><

Tell me, is it so bad to want to get paid for playing in cello in a wedding? I have to practice extra and put in a good amount of work, after all. It's a job! So, shouldn't I get paid? But I'm a loser who lets people walk all over her, so no, I just said yes to playing in the wedding and accepted that I'm not getting paid.

Here's why I'm reeeeeeeeeeally annoyed.

We - "we" being the entire quartet - were just emailed a whole new piece of music. IT'S IN 9/8 TIME. The rehearsal is Friday, and the wedding itself is on Saturday. To top it off, I'm already struggling through two or three of the songs. If I have to do this, I want to at least get paid for it!

I can't wait until this wedding is over.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-06-16T19:40:00

2008-06-17T00:38:21Z

First off, 447 icons. I'm seriously obsessed, no?

Also, I didn't know that when you take a user pic completely off LJ, that user pic disappears from old posts. That actually makes sense, but since I didn't know that I happened I was really shocked when Kilik (the bishie in my current user pic) suddenly appeared EVERYWHERE. Kilik has invaded! This is now Sleeping Forest territory.

Finally, I'm in the mood to write something with fight scenes. I'll have to work this out...

lenky_doodle @ 2008-06-08T02:53:00

2008-06-08T07:50:26Z

My total number of icons (as of today): 358

The number of obsession. ^^;;

How the Easter Bunny was made

2008-05-30T23:55:17Z

Once upon a time there was a female bunny rabbit named North who was very lonely. North often watched other bunny rabbits make piles and piles of children, but she didn't have any baby bunnies of her own. Many male rabbits happily offered to remedy this problem, but North wasn't willing to mate with just any male gigolo out for some bunny ass. No, North wanted love. Finally, one warm summer day, North set eyes on an enormous white rabbit nibbling on some foliage, and she fell in love at first sight. South, the giant bunny, also fell in love at first sight once he finished eating, burped, and actually noticed North. The two bunny rabbits spent their afternoon doing it like rabbits.

North, upon realizing she was pregnant, was absolutely delighted. However, before North's deepest wish could come true disaster struck. North was almost killed in a hunt and was forced to give birth early. Only two children survived, two pure white rabbits whom were named East and West. Even if they had fewer babies than the other rabbits, North and South were content.

East and West were very different children. West was a calm, thoughtful child while East was a mischievous bunny who always tried to get into off-limits areas. One day East wandered away from North and South into a new area, where she had seen many delicious looking carrots. Suddenly, a shrill scream sounded above Easter and human hands lifted her away from her forbidden vegetables. It was a young human boy, named Jesus. Jesus liked East the bunny so much that he named a special holiday after her: Easter. East ruled over this day as the Easter bunny, and today she still turns up every Easter to haunt children by planting eggs in random places around their homes.

The End!

lenky_doodle @ 2008-05-13T23:56:00

2008-05-14T05:02:06Z

Dad keeps offering to make tripe for the orchestra banquet. I'm tempted to seriously ask him to, just so I can see the look on everyone's face. I'd even eat it just for the hell of it. That might be because of my weird mood, though... a mood which I'm now going to explain. Wheeeeeee, here I go!

I was sitting in-between Jake and Katie at Senior Recognition night on Monday feeling really bored, when I started thinking about the awards we were receiving and stupid a lot of them were. And as I went through this strange thought-process during which I pondered how the awards were given out, why it was that certain groups of friends - or certain kinds of people - repeated every year, I managed to figure something out.

I really don't care about high school anymore. I want it to be over very badly. It's not that I hated high school or anything. I feel like four years ago I was smaller, and I fell into a hole that was too big to climb out of. Now I'm big enough to climb out, but my hips got bigger or something - actually, I think that part's not a metaphor - and I'm stuck in the hole. I'm trying desperately to claw my way out, but there's rough ground digging into my sides and wet clay pulling my feet back in. I'm lost in an endless struggle characterized by orchestra events, confusing math homework, stupid event after stupid event, and a kind of exhaustion that doesn't seem like it can be cured by sleep. I'm too big for that stupid hole, but the black hole of high school won't let me out.

...OK, that probably doesn't make any sense. Excuse my babbling, but I'm really tired. The short version is that I feel like I've out-grown high school, and that there's nothing left in that building, aside from some people, that has any meaning for me. The next six school days look like forever, from my current vantage point.

Icon is by Omochaya. That's Dr. Stein from Soul Eater, an anime/manga that I'm currently obsessed with.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-04-03T01:37:00

2008-04-03T06:35:33Z

Er... there's no point to this entry. In fact, I meant to go to bed over an hour ago! ^^ I just wanted to make sure I credited this icon. It's Hiruma from Eyeshield 21, and the creator is faintscribbles.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-03-09T16:13:00

2008-03-09T21:28:00Z

I feel like defending my twisted opinions. >< Please stay tuned for a disturbing explanation.

Yesterday was the state speech competition for individuals (I didn't compete, but I did tag along to support my teammates and see a couple performances I'd missed at districts.) as well as a surprise birthday party for one of my best friends in the entire world, Jill. Her birthday was one the third. Happy eighteenth, Jill! Congratulations again on now being old enough to buy cigarettes, lottery tickets, porn, and alcohol in some countries.

Back to the speech competition! There was a poetry piece entitled "Fortune's Bones" which consisted of three poems that formed a story told from three perspectives. Fortune was the name of a slave who had served a scientist, and upon his death the scientist chose to dissect his slave. The first poem was a gruesome, beautiful description of the first incisions of the dissection and the scientist's delight in advancing science, as well as his love of science. The second poem was told from the perspective of Fortune's widow, also a slave, as she was forced to clean up the dissection room where her husband's sliced up corpse rested. The third and final poem's point of view was that of Fortune himself. Fortune reflected back on what had happened to his body in life and death, and declared that slavery was impossible because it was not his body being cut up but simply a shell he'd spent some time in. His soul was and forever had been free.

My initial reaction to the poetry was this: that it was AMAZING. My favorite was, as you probably have guessed from the way I opened this post, the first and most disgusting as told by the scientist, scalpel in hand. When I explained this to my sister she just said that it was gross, and didn't seem to get why I liked it so much.

Now, on to the surprise party. I was reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally sugar high after ice cream from Cold Stone's Creamery, and came up with the spectacular idea of treating Jill to a little fanservice. We stole her Itachi plushie doll from her room, and at my request Jenna, Jill's younger sister, found some rope. We tied him to a chair and used "Happy Birthday" streamers to make a blindfold. Then, when Jill came home, we made sure all the lights were off except a blue glitter lamp and used it to illuminate Bondagetachi. Jill's initial reaction was "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" And once we jumped out and yelled "surprise!" the shock wore off, and she was very excited. Itachi stayed tied to the chair for most of the party.

And now, the final incident that lead me to want to defend my weird opinions. We watched the first Silent Hill movie until about one AM. It's full of bleeding, decaying buildings, twisted, disgusting corpses that serve as unstoppable monsters (the only defense is to run and hide; hide and seek) and burning bodies. But, I was fascinated by the whole thing and think it's one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen.

OK! Now, are you convinced that despite my mother's best efforts to raise me as an innocent sci fi geek, I'm sick and twisted? Good.

I really think that if you can look past the gore or whatever makes you think "that's gross" and scream your head off, you can see something incredible that you wouldn't normally see. Silent Hill is actually a terrifying commentary on the negative power of organized religion, and how something supposedly positive can have a terrible impact on the world. Religion has been used to justify genocide, after all.

Also, there's no reason why a gruesome, disturbing poem about a scientist chopping up his former slave can't be beautiful and enthralling. The scientist describes each action lovingly, and even shows appreciation for everything the slave has done, including his contributions to science. If you look past the description of the scalpel slicing through death-softened flesh, there's a deep desire that is admirable found in the scientist, and even a love of humanity in all its shapes and forms.

I can't really justify Bondagetachi because even if I wasn't sugar high I would have come up with the idea. But, on your birthday isn't fanservice great?

lenky_doodle @ 2008-02-03T16:42:00

2008-02-03T22:47:12Z

I think that Speech Competitions are a different world.

Seriously, they are. Yesterday at state and even Friday night when we performed for One Act was like living in a different world. Instead of having to worry about TKD, cello, homework, college and other people's issues I just had fun. It wasn't just me, either; other people were acting like they were living in a different universe or something. For the first time ever I saw Ryan messing with other people instead of just other people picking on him. Everyone was cracking dirty jokes and pulling pranks like crazy, and the only person who wasn't really acting differently was Jill. (Speech behavior is normal for her). On the bus ride home, I stole a whole bus seat and stretched my legs out on it. Jake didn't have anywhere to sit so he picked up my feet, sat down, and then stuck them on his lap. When he was tired he leaned back and laid his head on my shoulder. Sarah was sitting in front of me, Thomas was behind us, and Ryan, Jill, Veronica, Clint and Jackson were across from us, passing around Ryan's DS and Clint's furry hat. It was like sitting in a little bubble of people who were very comfortable with each other, and not existing in the real world for a while.

I think that's why I'm sort of irritated today. >< But, I really didn't want to return to the real world. I liked the other one better. Plus, we went to the Sushi House for dinner and I had eel, grilled squid, and little bits of everyone else's dinners. That was awesome.

Oh, the icon is by Cuetheriot.

lenky_doodle @ 2008-01-29T17:19:00

2008-01-29T23:32:08Z

We're studying Existentialism in LA (Language Arts/English class). One of the basic ideas behind Existentialism is that humans are free because they make their own decisions, but the price of that freedom is that humans must take responsibility for them. I really like that idea, and wholeheartedly believe in it. But, as if on cue, I've started noticing that people will do everything in their power not to take responsibility for any mistakes, even their own.

This is all started on Friday. In orchestra we were working in sectionals (In case you've never been in an orchestra or band, "sectionals" are what we call working with just your section; so all the cellos work together, all the violas, etc.) and Whitney told me that a couple students in our class had decided to be disruptive and obnoxious during class because they didn't like the teacher. The students in question are friends of mine, so I confronted them about it. When I asked why they disliked the teacher the only reasoning I got was that they'd gotten used to the old teacher. Then, when I pointed out that their actions were immature, the response was "this isn't about being mature." >> Clearly. A couple things about orchestra to help you understand my anger:

Last year our teacher, Mr. Clancey, was gone at the beginning of the year because he'd been hit by a car while he was on a bike. That was the first year these students had him. So, he was their teacher for less than one school year. He was my teacher for nearly three full years.
I spent my entire last summer waiting to hear if we were even going to have an orchestra teacher, and therefore and orchestra program this year. We didn't have one until right before the school year started.

So, I was (and still am) justifiably angry. At least, I think so. That's my first example of people not taking responsibility for their actions. "I'm being obnoxious for no reason but you can't blame me because I'm immature."

Second example:

I made a mistake on some college forms that my counselor needed to send in and I corrected them months ago. My counselor had been in the hospital for three weeks and so had not filled out the forms, so when he saw that they were incorrect he asked me to fix them. I told him I'd already emailed the schools. He flipped out, was an ass to me, and made a big deal about putting HIS signature on these forms, when I'd already taken responsibility for and fixed the mistake. He wouldn't let this go until I suggested he add a note to the forms explaining the situation.

Since then, it's like some kind of irresponsibility radar has clicked on in my head. I can't turn it off, and I'm starting to feel that I am very naive for not seeing this before, and also that I'm a very responsible person. I also can't get over these two events because they really piss me off. ><

So, here's what I'm confused about: WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS??

lenky_doodle @ 2008-01-06T21:44:00

2008-01-07T03:47:38Z

I once spent a night studying astral projection because someone started sending me websites on it and explaining why they found it interesting. I don't remember who the person was or why it was so interesting, but I feel a little like the rational part of me has astrally projected away and is watching what the rest does. There are, at this moment, two levels of my consciousness:
1) The irrational one, who is procrastinating, not practicing cello, getting frustrated over small things, and taking her bad moods out on other people.
2) The rational one, who is very disappointed in the irrational one because she understands exactly what's going on but not why something that can be easily fixed isn't being fixed.

It's strange. I know that if I avoid homework or practice or all the important things I have to do I'll suffer for it later. But I still do it, and I still console myself with the thought that it's OK because most people don't work as hard as I normally do. Well, they don't work as hard as I used to.

Morgan just told me something. "Everyone needs a break, don't beat yourself up about it." I really do love her sometimes. She's a amazing sister.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T07:43:40Z

I just spent at least fifteen minutes icon searching because I didn't know what to use for the New Year. I got really distracted, and found some cool FLCL icons in the process! This is a really interesting Ninamori icon made by cuetheriot, and I thought it looked like surrealist art or something. It's cool! But I probably won't use it much because Ninamori's eyes creep me out a little. >>;;

Anyway, I usually don't get excited over things like the New Year and... er, well, I'm not that excited. Actually, I just want to watch the episode of Black Cat I uploaded on Stage6 and go to bed. But I did realize that this is going to be the year I start college and that I'll be of voting/caucusing age, so I was momentarily excited a little while ago.

Hm. I don't think I get excited for holidays anymore. Oh well, back to the anime!

-edits- Huzzah for new layouts! This one is cool, and it reminded me of my sister's new comforter.